Bill Clinton, Balloons & The Comey Hearing

Alright, so everyone saw the Comey hearing or has heard about it. All the media outlets have their own version of what the main takeaways were but here at WiseUp we decided our main takeaway is President Clinton should have stuck to playing with balloons. You may be wondering wth does that mean? Allow us to explain: If you recall back when the Democratic Convention happened, BuzzFeed published a hilarious article of President Clinton having a blast with all the balloons. 

President Clinton having an absolute BLAST playing with balloons after his wife accepted the Democratic Nomination to be President.

President Clinton having an absolute BLAST playing with balloons after his wife accepted the Democratic Nomination to be President.

 

That is what Bill Clinton should've been doing until election day. Alas, some staffer didn't order enough balloons to distract him, so Bill Clinton decided to meet up Attorney General Loretta Lynch (who was supposed to be investigating the HRC private server situation) on the tarmac of some airport. *facepalm facepalm facepalm*

If Peter is face palming you know you've messed up REAL BAD.

If Peter is face palming you know you've messed up REAL BAD.

When Comey learned of this, it was his tipping point of having to do something about this relatively *shady* sitaution and it is the main reason why Comey came out to the public about opening up HRC's private server investigation AGAIN a few days before the election. According to Nate Silver's 538, this damning statement by Comey is what lost her the election. Granted there were other issues but let's say this was one of the major factors to her loss. Which leads us to the conclusion, DAMMIT BILL CLINTON! If it weren't for you meandering off meeting women in random places JUST MAYBE things would have been different. STICK TO PLAYING WITH BALLOONS! LOOK HOW HAPPY YOU ARE!

Why didn't someone give him enough balloons to play with till Election Day?!?!

Why didn't someone give him enough balloons to play with till Election Day?!?!


Ugh okay but really we had a hard time wrapping our head around that statement. Anyways, plenty of other juicy stuff was said, enough to make this seasons' House of Cards look tame. Btw, has anyone finished watching it yet oh wait never mind, the drama is still happening in real time. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate HoC and current day politics.....

Anyhow, here are our thoughts:

  • So we watched the hearing live on Twitter who did a great job of streaming it. Furthermore, they connected it with the top tweets coming in so you could essentially see how both parties interpreted the hearing and what they found to be important enough to tweet. Now if you were watching on TV, your cable news provider had their own interpretations. This article highlights how the liberal and conservative media outlets portrayed their thoughts on the hearing. Check it out.
  • Best statement by Comey......Lordy, I hope there are tapes. Well, lordy so do we.

  • Looks like there is some more shady stuff with AG Sessions and Russia. According to some news sources, in the closed door hearing Sessions had one more contact with Russia that wasn't reported to the public yet. Yikes! You'd think he'd care more about the minorities of America rather than the Russians but hey whatever floats your boat.
  • Trump had alluded to Comey to let the Flynn investigation go.
  • AG Loretta Lynch requested HRC's private server investigation be called a matter instead of an investigation. Why request that? This sounds shady? And the FBI is the Federal Bureau of Investigations not FBM (The Federal Bureau of Matters).....what did AG Lynch expect?
  • Comey wasn't afraid to be blunt ( we love blunt, blunt is sexy) about calling Trump a liar and accusing him of slandering his and the FBI's reputation. Since Comey is 6'8 we are positive he has much larger hands which is why he is fearless to face Trump.
  • Comey kept notes on his meetings with Trump because he felt Trump wasn't trustworthy enough.
    • Comey never kept notes with Bush or Obama. This is Comey's major SHAADEEEE moment.
Comey throwing MAJOR shade at Trump for talking as if the FBI is in disarray. Uh no Trump YOUR administration is in disarray!

Comey throwing MAJOR shade at Trump for talking as if the FBI is in disarray. Uh no Trump YOUR administration is in disarray!

  • Comey then proceeded to leak one of the meeting memos to his friend ( a law professor at Columbia) so his friend could leak it to the public *not sure of the legal ramifications of this*.
  • When asked by the committee why he didn't just leak it himself, he responded he didn't want the media to come at him like a flock of seagulls. Duly noted.
A flock of reporters staking their claim on whatever dirt they can find on Comey and the Trump administration.

A flock of reporters staking their claim on whatever dirt they can find on Comey and the Trump administration.

  • According to Comey, he disputed an article published in the NY Times about contacts between Russia and the Trump administration. 
    • This is a reminder that liberal media isn't always accurate (although NY Times and WaPost for the most part have been doing a great job) so please don't take their headlines for face value. Read the entire article and THINK how plausible the information is!
  • Senator Cornyn, one of our lovely senators representing Texas- Goodness gracious with the questions about HRC's private server situation. It was absolutely irrelevant to the current investigation and doesn't need to be rehashed. While Comey did agree there should've been a special counsel appointed in that investigation and yet after doing the investigation he still did not request one because he was positively sure there was absolutely no case. We are so effing sick and tired of hearing about this private server we swear to never ever use one in our life. The drama a private server can cause is just not worth it.
  • By the way Senator Cornyn you made Texas look REAL GOOD to the rest of America. *please note heavy sarcasm*.
Non-Texans reactions to Senator Cornyn's questions.....

Non-Texans reactions to Senator Cornyn's questions.....

  • Speaking of oddities- WTH was McCain thinking, saying, doing? President Comey?!
  • Comey stated while he was with the FBI he did not think Trump colluded with Russia during the election. Now could there be more evidence to back that statement up? Comey thinks maybe there is, it just depends on how the ongoing investigation pans out...
  • Trump never asked Comey to stop the Russia investigation. But, he apparently wanted the cloud of this investigation to go away- to be fair what President would want that hanging over their Presidency? 
  • Russia interfered with our elections yet it didn't seem they were able to change the votes casted during the election. Our main question is, how did Russia interfere? Was it only the DNC hacking and the fake news they were helping to spread? When will the public find out? Deets please!
No really. Deets badly needed! 

No really. Deets badly needed! 

  • People came off thinking perhaps Trump has obstructed justice which will result in his impeachment. Again we don't know what happened at the closed door hearing but we aren't holding our breath that Trump will be impeached anytime soon.  
  • All in all, we felt sad for our country. Sad it has come to this point. We are a nation so insanely divided, our President and his administration is constantly under suspicion and we look utterly foolish around the world. If only we could turn back time and have ensured President Clinton had enough balloons to keep him occupied till election day maybe, just maybe, things would've been different. 
We'll never look at balloons the same again.....

We'll never look at balloons the same again.....